Society recognizes drunk driving as a universal ill.  Why, I ask, is the same not true of an even more heinous alcohol induced offense?  It's time we band together and quit looking the other way, if not now when?  

(By the way Miss Reynolds, this one's for you.....C-to-the-hicago.....the sequel!!  "Why, that's a great idea!!  How did I not think of this before?!?"). 

Drunk dancing, aka rhythmic heresy, presently afflicts 73.89% of the OU student population.  This post calls for serious reform--Blowing into a breathalyzer before busting a move seems the only logical solution.   Please, someone explain how when a person cannot stand without assistance, attempting the Electric Slide suddenly seems like the best if not only course of action?

(Because I'm feeling nostalgic: "This tastes dreadful...are you going to finish that?") 

More or less all of my Norman friends are international students.  This has been a foreign-tastic experience so far, and I feel compelled to share what knowledge I've gleaned:

A. Shiner--more than just beer and blackeyes.

B. Sweden and Switzerland are not, contrary to popular opinion, the same country.

C. If your French is limited to fries and quotes from Moulin Rouge, silence is advisable.

D. Ugly Swedish Girl=Oxymoron

Glorious.  This word may be defined as having a four person apartment to oneself.  It may also be used when describing one's course schedule, in example: Intro to Ballroom Dancing, Beginning Pilates, Art for non-majors, and Understanding Art. Under no conceivable circumstance may the word glorious be employed in reference to the LSAT.

I started my Kaplan prep-class this week.  The first session is a diagnostic test to evaluate strengths and weaknesses....I got 100% correct on a reading comprehension segment (Much cheering and applause) and 5% correct on a logic game segment (Boo-ing and gnashing of teeth).  What does this say of me? 

My dearest Enid,

Fare thee well. We had good times, you and I.  But I'm leaving you for another town.  It may seem hard now, but time will ease the pain...or my absence could make your nonexistent heart grow fonder.  Whatever, deal with it. 

Sincerely,

Christa Lynn Evans

I rode my bike 10 miles today, all the way humming Queen.  The band and I concur on two key theological points:

A. Fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go round.

B. I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike. I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like.

Arbitrary side note-- Bikes are a pain in the ass.  Literally.  My bum is sore and I'm hobbling around the apartment like an octogenarian.

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Lauren Latrine Reynolds, now tell me this didn't brighten your day:

Thanks to Kimela for inspiring this most insipid of posts.

So I've noticed a total cessation in my phone communication.  Is it the distance?  Or an incurable phobia of dialing ten digit numbers?

From ex-Oxford-roommates (by the way, Viva la Baguettes!) to the Bison of the Bubble, I talk to no one.  I accept responsibility, really I do, but this is seriously ridiculous.

My conversations, already on the endangered species list and nearing extinction, too often go as such: "Hey!! I'm so glad you called!  Look, I really, really, really want to catch up, but this is a bad time.  Can I call you right back?" 

"Right back" is commonly confused with "soon", it actually means "likely never but maybe in seven months after you've forgotten what you called to tell me." 

In the instance I timely return the call, I invariably get an answering machine.  This somehow makes me feel both rushed and confused.  The end product is a choppy, indecipherable regurgitation of whatever I'd been rehearsing in my head since I heard the beep.

As if this weren't dilemma enough, I cannot end the message.  My throat fails to constrict and busts this energizer bunny move to keep going and going and going and going and going: "Okay, well, I'll talk to you later...unless I don't...so call me back, but not if you're busy...I understand if you're busy, because I am, sort of, and that's why it took me so long to call you back...so don't worry about hurting my feelings if it takes a while for you to call, I understand...but, uh, do call me back...if you feel like it......maybe...okay, well, I'll, um, talk to you soon.  Or  not soon,  whichever.  I'd prefer sooner than later because I like talking to you, but I know you have a lot going on too, so, okay, um, bye."

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Edit:

Since writing this post I've conversed with three people via phone.  See, it's not that I'm anti-phone, I'm neutral...like Switzerland, which might as well merge with Sweden because I (and the rest of the free world) can't keep them straight.